Phil Simkins is the creator of the Kool Rope - a rubber tube that can be frozen and worn around the neck as a personal cooler - prototypes of which he sent the Bronx Bombers nine years ago. He says the extra practice time they surely got in the gruelingly hot summer of '96 allowed them to beat the Atlanta Braves - thanks to him.

This week he sent a letter to Yankees President Randy Levine demanding "A one time payment of 1.5 million dollars ... a loan of 1 million dollars to get his cooling unit invention into production ... a $200,000 donation to the Coalition for the Homeless ... [and] a press conference to acknowledge his contribution to the team's championship year and for his unparalleled sacrifice to the team."

Yesterday, Simkins told us that Yankees trainer Gene Monahan acknowledged the use of the "personal air conditioners" in a 1996 conversation.

"Hearing those words, my heart began to pound heavily, since I knew that I was now a part of Yankee history by helping to keep the players cool," Simkins says.

The Yankees, strangely, had no comment.

Idle trains lead to Idle pleasure

Broadway found its own inimitable way to cope with the transit strike. Before the "Spamalot" matinee on Wednesday, two of the actors called to say that they were stuck in Queens traffic and wouldn't make it on time.

By coincidence, the show's creator, Eric Idle, was backstage, and volunteered to entertain the audience until the tardy actors could get to the theater.

He told the crowd, "I'm Eric Idle, not Billy Idol, and if you're expecting Billy Idol, then [bleep] off," before dragging Hank Azaria onstage to help with the ad-libbing.

Also hoofing it this week was Shirley MacLaine, who joked that she had to walk 20 blocks to see her friend in "Chita Rivera: The Dancer's Life." MacLaine and Rivera, you may recall, starred in the film version of another current Broadway revival, "Sweet Charity."

The Source of much outrage

Talk about an acceptance speech. Raymond (Benzino) Scott, the colorful co-owner of The Source magazine, wasn't too pleased when rival hip-hop glossy Ozone bestowed the title of "Most Successful Extortionist" on him in their end-of-year awards issue.

Scott phoned Ozone's owner, Julia Beverly, and left two expletive-laced voice mails in which he threatened to spit in her face, called her a "transvestite" and added a few choice racial slurs as well. The phrase "ugly bush pig slutmonkey whore" also came up.

"Hey JB, or whoever [bleep] phone this is at Ozone magazine. If I got to read another negative [bleep] about my magazine or me in your magazine, when I see you I am going to spit in your [bleep]ing face. All right, you stupid [bleep]," he raged.

Beverly claims Scott owes her $1,575 for writing work. The "extortionist" tag relates to her perception that he runs The Source for his financial gain, to the exclusion of other contributors.

New York Minute

A nosy Gatecrasher reader peered over Kurt Russell's shoulder in Los Angeles this week to spy on his meticulously written Christmas list. He picked up three pairs of cowboy boots from the Boot Barn in Topanga Canyon, and Kate Hudson's getting a bracelet. ... A spy spotted Johnny Knoxville tipping a US Airways attendant $40 at Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport on Wednesday for helping him cut the extra-long line. ... Hey, I only just noticed that the Daily News made Bill O'Reilly's end-of-year blacklist of "Media Operations That Traffic in Defamation," because apparently we "regularly helped distribute defamation and false information supplied by far left Web sites." Heck, if we're annoying him that much, we must be doing something right. Happy holidays, Bill!

Don't Shoot the Messenger