ASK JADE
Dear Jade,
This guy I talked to a year ago is starting to show interest in me again.
I’d moved to another state, but now that I’m back in town and on campus,
we’ve been meeting up every now and then. The problem is that he always
wants to know when he’s gonna see me again, but whenever we set up a date
something will come up at the last minute. He claims that he wants me to be
his girlfriend because he’s ready to settle down, but every time I talk to
him on the phone he’s having a party in his dorm room or headed to the club
with his friends. Should I take him seriously? – Confused
Dear Confused,
I hate to break it to you, but actions speak louder than words. It sounds
like this guy is telling you one thing but doing another. I think if you
weren’t interested in him also, you wouldn’t be stressing it. He’s wasting
your time if he’s not a man of his word. Girl, do your thang, and stay
focused on what you’re here for: school. If he’s serious he’ll come around,
but don’t wait by the phone or stop your social life because of him. As long
as you look like you’re putting up with his behavior, the longer it’ll go
on. Do you and everything else will fall into place. Why sacrifice if it’s
not reciprocated? - Jade
Wassup Jade,
I’ve been involved with a guy that’s three years younger than me (I’m 21)
since January. Everything has been cool, but he keeps saying he’s not ready
for a serious relationship. I’m so tired of hearing that excuse from guys
that it’s sickening, but the reason I’ve stayed around for so long is
because he’s really a sweet person. Even though he said he doesn’t do things
like go out on dates, give girls money, spend time with girls every day, or
let girls drive his car, he has broken all his rules for me. He even gave me
his bank card and pin number one night and asked me to deposit his paycheck.
We see each other practically every day. Does that mean he might be coming
around? I really would love to be with him, but he puts up a wall when it
comes to relationships. My sister says to stop pressuring him and let
everything flow, but I’m getting more and more impatient every day. Do you
think I’m wasting my time? – Impatient
Dear Impatient,
It’s important to take his age into consideration. Remember when you were
18? Think about what the word “relationship” might mean to him right now.
Hell, the word scared the shit out of me then, and I’m a girl! Doing
relationship things and calling it a relationship might be two different
things to him. Maybe the commitment is intimidating. Along with titles like
“boyfriend” come assumed responsibilities, and that may be the problem. You
sound like a nice girl who knows what she wants. If you like him enough
don’t pressure him, just be cool with him and keep your options open. If
that’s not enough, find yourself an older dude who wants a real
relationship. - Jade
Send your questions to Jade.
All inquiries are confidential and anonymous.
LADY SAW: Real Toppa Toppa
"No wan no belly rub-a-dub because a
backshot mi love
No wan no kiss, no wan no hug because a backshot mi love
That’s why mi prefa ina tub because a backshot mi love
Mi nuh care if mi knees dem wan rub off pon di rug"
- Lady Saw & Spragga Benz
What a lady! Nowhere else but on the small but enigmatic island of Jamaica can you find such a beloved musical matriarch. The Queen of Dancehall is one of the many titles that may accompany her name upon being introduced on stages in over thirty countries worldwide. The real Big Woman, as she is so affectionately called, is Lady Saw, a double-digit veteran dancehall act who came out with that Lil’ Kim freak shit way before Kim even lost her virginity. Over the years the pulse of this Jamaican Iion hasn’t skipped a beat. Lady Saw is still revered as one of the most sexually explicit and intimidating entertainers in the game, whether male or female. Beneath her public persona is the makings of an international symbol of female strength. Few in the music industry stay this long in the game. With past collaborations with No Doubt and Foxy Brown and new shit possibly popping off with 50 a.k.a. Ferrari, F-50, there is no telling as to how far she can go and how long before she decides to give up the crown.
You’re the only female that’s stayed in the dancehall music scene this long. There were others like Lady G, but no one out there who can match the career length of people like Bounty Killer and Beenie Man. How do you think you’ve stayed so consistent in a market that has been flat-out dominated by males?
There’s Lady G who did her thing but is now more into her family, there’s also Tanya Stevens who’s recording a lot. There’s also Sopice, and a couple of others that are recording. I think the reason why I’m still here standing strong is because of the love of the people. I don’t know why but I get crazy love, people never get tired of seeing me, you know? I can go on a stage and do old songs and people still love the show.
Have you personally realized your own status in the Dancehall scene as being the toppa top when it comes to female dancehall artists?
I know, sometimes I don’t want to praise myself, but people always tell me. It doesn’t matter who comes out and who has the number one hit, I’m still respected. Mi a di real Big Woman dem seh!
Throughout your career, how have the men in the music business treated you?
It’s been good. A lot of men don’t like to do music with females, sometimes they shy away from that, but once my name is mentioned it’s like, "Yeah man, a wah yu a she man! So I can collaborate with any one of them, they all love and respect me. I think I’m respected because I don’t sleep around with other entertainers. I think when a female does that she lowers herself, lowers her standard so that men talk behind her back. But with me it’s about respect, they always respect me. Sometimes I don’t go out, I might do only one show a year in Jamaica. It’s really good hanging out with those guys, although when you hang out around Elephant Man you get drunk! It’s all about the Hypnotiq, dem no play, yu know? (laughing)
It’s interesting that you mentioned not sleeping with other artists, because your lyrics reflect a very sexual side of you. How much of your music reflects real life and how much of it is art?
Some of it reflects my own life but that’s only for me and one person. Some of my ideas come from friends. Some of them complain to me and I might put the situation in a song. Things come naturally, it’s been a while since I’ve put my life and relationship in a song, but when I used to do it years ago, the person I was with always used to complain about it.
We’ve seen you reinvent yourself plenty of times, what can we look forward to from Lady Saw?
The new album "Strip Tease" is out, but we have some new tracks and are changing some of the older riddims. I recently did two tracks with Foxy Brown, and a song with a new girl named Julie Black. One of those tracks is on the "2 Fast, 2 Furious" soundtrack. Somebody asked me the other day if I’d do something with Brittney Spears and I was like, "Bring it on!" (laughing) so I’m waiting on that. I’m also negotiating a deal with a couple New York rappers for a remake of Marvin Gaye’s "Sexual Healing" that I rapped on.
Speaking of collaborating with different artists, is there anyone you haven’t been able to collaborate with yet that you’d like to?
I’d love to do a song with R Kelly. My manager was trying to get me on the "Snake" remix. Apart from that I’m trying to get with 50 Cent for a track on my album. I have some people that know him so you never know what may happen.
You’ve taken a little time off from the scene, how has that affected your fan base?
I’ve just taken a break from Jamaica. But abroad I’ve been working like a dog. I don’t really work in Jamaica anymore. I’ve gotten tired of different people bugging me with controversy about my sexuality, you know? ‘Cause I don’t see what’s wrong with it.
So where does the Lady Saw career end, after going strong for so long?
Sometimes I feel like I need a break, but then I tell myself I need a good four-year run before I can stop. I sometimes say that on stage and people start saying, "No Saw, yu can do dat!" I have something big brewing, but I don’t want to talk about it yet. I just want to do that, do my four year run, then stop and retire to Paris or Cali (laughing). - Noel Malcolm