Ozone Magazine

This is my official blog. It’s an advice column and I’m calling it “Ask Uncle Face.” It doesn’t matter what you ask, I’m prepared to answer whatever the question is.

Question: I just got home from doing a lil’ ol’ 5, and I moved to Austin, Texas and I started recording. Now that I’m a 150% with it as far as rapping, I’m finding that often hip-hop gets no love. We’ve been thinking about moving to Houston where the music is at. Do you think Houston will show love, or shake me off because I’m not originally from there?

My Response: I think you can make it regardless of where you at. There’s some talent all over this muthafucka. I don’t think you necessarily have to uproot and leave Austin. I think Austin may be a better market than Houston anyway, because Houston is oversaturated right now in terms of hip-hop. Austin is a growing market, so it would be real cool to try and take over that town, rather than trying to come out here. This muthafucka crowded, it’s bumper to bumper with rappers out in Houston. So my advice would be to stay where you at and try to build it. You don’t have to move to a big city to get your shit heard.

 *Editors note: Ask Uncle Face is an advice blog appearing periodically on ozonemag.com. We assume no responsiblity for hurt feelings or consequences that may evolve from said advice.

If you need advice from Uncle Face email him directly at scarface@ozonemag.com

This is my official blog. It’s an advice column and I’m calling it “Ask Uncle Face.” It doesn’t matter what you ask, I’m prepared to answer whatever the question is.

Question: I’m a naturally nice guy, but I keep getting stuck in the friend zone with every girl I like. How can I change that?                                                                                   -Alex, Chicago IL (South Side)

My Response: Shit, you don’t never wanna be outside the friend zone. I love the friend zone. Trust me, you should stay in the friend zone. Matter of fact, start introducing the friends that you like to the other friends that you like, and be real cool with ‘em, eventually somebody’s curiosity will pop while you’re hanging out with all these girls. The girls are gonna get selfish and try to man your ass. So my advice is to stay in the friend zone and be real nice, that way when she comes over one night after her boyfriend done fucked over her, and you’ve been such a great friend, you’re now in the position to get what you want. Take her out, do some boyfriend shit with her, be different, be real different. That’s how you handle that. You gon’ eventually get some play, trust me. All you gotta do is be a friend. Be her friend, and introduce her to all your other female friends, use them to your advantage; it works every time.

*Editors note: Ask Uncle Face is an advice blog appearing periodically on ozonemag.com.

If you need advice from Uncle Face email him at scarface@ozonemag.com

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Question: If a guy tells you he really likes you and you do everything he wants and treat him right, why does he still cheat? – Jill C., College Park, GA

My Response:That’s the nature of the male. I mean, the fucking dogs don’t call it cheatin, and the horses don’t call it cheatin, and the buffalos don’t call it cheatin’. The Mormons don’t call it cheatin’. So If he’s cheatin’ and you can’t stop him it may not be nothing you doing wrong, it just may be in the male makeup, because I don’t know one dude, well maybe one dude, maybe two… I know two people that don’t fuck around, but they’re married. As far as people with girlfriends, those girls are just girl friends. Hell, there’s a lot of girls out there that fuck around too. To me, variety is the spice of life, but then again I can’t speak for all people. I can only speak for myself.

*Editors note: Ask Uncle Face is an advice blog appearing periodically on ozonemag.com.

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If you need advice from Uncle Face email him at scarface@ozonemag.com

Question: I just started dating this girl, but I haven’t hit yet. She just told me she has herpes. Should I run the fuck away or continue to see her? - Anonymous, Columbia, S.C.

My Response: Shit, that’s a good question. Um, I mean, at least she told you. She coulda shocked yo ass. You know the pros and cons of the virus, so you can use your own discretion with that one. I don’t know enough about that disease to tell a muthafucka to run away or what. But I heard you can’t get rid of that shit, so do what you think. I ain’t never been faced with a question like that, so I don’t really know, but to sum it all up in a nutshell, just protect yourself and be aware of the outbreak. That’s what they call that shit, right? An outbreak? That’s up to you whether to leave her or not. Shit, if you say you’re diggin’ her and she got the gift that keep on giving, just protect yourself and be careful. If ain’t really diggin’ her that much then get the fuck away from her.

*Ask Uncle Face is an advice blog appearing periodically on ozonemag.com. If you need advice from Uncle Face email him at scarface@ozonemag.com

This is my official blog. It’s an advice column and I’m calling it “Ask Uncle Face.” It doesn’t matter what you ask, I’m prepared to answer whatever the question is.

Question: Do you think some of the same people that jumped on the Obama bandwagon and helped him get elected are going to become extra-critical of him once he’s in office, because the expectations are so high? – Elisa in New Orleans

My Response: I can’t agree with that. The expectations couldn’t be fuckin’ high if you’re looking at what America just got off of. The expectations can’t be high because Bush fuckin’ crashed the country. Some muthafuckers crash their business or their record flops, but this muthafucker flopped the whole country. He bounced the country. A lot of muthafuckers bounce checks, but Bush bounced the whole country. That’s gotta be a smart muthafucker to bounce a whole country. So I don’t think the expectations are high. We just want him to dig us out of this hole. Bush dug us into a deep hole and I think that now they’ve got somebody that they wanted to see fail. What better way to show that a nigga isn’t qualified to run the country than to give him a country that’s already fucked up? The lightbulb comes on now, don’t it. But I’ll tell you one thing about this smart-ass president we got right now. The president-elect. They tried to diss him and call him a “community planner,” but watch how he becomes a country planner. Watch how he plans this country. That nigga is sharp, don’t get it fucked up. Barack Obama is sharper than a muthafucker.

*Editors note: Ask Uncle Face is an advice blog appearing periodically on ozonemag.com.
Previous Entries

If you need advice from Uncle Face email him at scarface@ozonemag.com

This is my official blog. It’s an advice column and I’m calling it “Ask Uncle Face.” It doesn’t matter what you ask, I’m prepared to answer whatever the question is.

Question: What did you do to set yourself apart from other rappers that enabled you to achieve such longevity? Aside from your skills on the mic, what did you do that helped you tap into the business and become behind-the-scenes as much as in the limelight? Thanks for the inspiration and the truth.
- San Antonio representa Luciano

My Response: A lot of watching and a lot of listening. Being seen and not being heard, you know? I think it all boils down to being able to listen. Learn. Understand what you read. That’s some school shit. A nigga learned in school you’ve gotta be able to understand what you read. I’ll tell you some funny shit. A nigga told me he was the hottest shit in the city, right? And I told him, “I ain’t really fuckin’ with this shit no more.” He said, “Aw man, I know I could learn a lot from you.” I said, “Listen to what I tell you. This rap shit is over with.” He said, “Naw, man, it ain’t over.” I said you can’t learn nothin’ from me, cause you don’t listen. Niggas need to find a brand-new exercise.

The rap shit is over. Anytime you’ve got records that are great and never heard as opposed to records that fuckin’ suck and get heard all day, y’know, the shit is over. I think the song Will.I.Am made for Obama should’ve been like “We Are The World,” like, one of the biggest songs in Hip Hop history. That was one of those songs, man, one of those moments. But that “Yes We Can,” you never hear that muthafuckin’ song, do you? Naw, but you’ll hear some shit like, “I kissed a girl and I liked it,” though.

When I say “understanding what you read,” the game is a book within itself. If you can’t watch the patterns of the game, you won’t be able to understand it. It ain’t no book that can teach you this shit. You’ve gotta be hands-on. I think you’ve gotta watch an executive. A smart one, though. Watch somebody that knows the ropes. I watched somebody that knew the ropes, so it was kinda like cheating, cause I learned from the best.

 *Editors note: Ask Uncle Face is an advice blog appearing periodically on ozonemag.com.
Previous Entries

 If you need advice from Uncle Face email him at scarface@ozonemag.com

This is my official blog. It’s an advice column and I’m calling it “Ask Uncle Face.” It doesn’t matter what you ask, I’m prepared to answer whatever the question is.

Question: How do you feel about interracial relationships? As a white girl that would give you the top and bottom ANY day of the week, how do you feel about hooking up with a white girl? Is it something that men of your caliber and experience see as something to do just to fuck? Or could a white girl ever be Mrs. Face? Basically, if we’re good enough to fuck, are we also good enough to lock down?
- Danielle a.k.a. ThUnDaCaT

My Response: It depends on the position she puts herself in. I may not be the one to answer that question cause I’m kinda biased. But I love girls, white girls too. All girls. I guess it’s all in the position she plays. It’s got a lot to do with her. I can only speak for me, I can’t speak for everybody else. She’s gotta play her position. She’s gotta know when she’s right and when she’s wrong. It’s the way she carries herself. Stay out of the way. Be seen and not heard. That’s the wifey’s job, yeah, especially when I’m talking. Shut the fuck up! (laughs) Be seen and not heard.

*Editors note: Ask Uncle Face is an advice blog appearing periodically on ozonemag.com.
Previous Entries

 If you need advice from Uncle Face email him at scarface@ozonemag.com

This is my official blog. It’s an advice column and I’m calling it “Ask Uncle Face.” It doesn’t matter what you ask, I’m prepared to answer whatever the question is.

Question: Have you been following the accusations against Illinois governor Rod R. Blagojevich? Do you think he should be impeached, and do you think the person he appointed to fill Barack’s position in the Senate, Mr Burris, should be accepted into the Senate? 
- Emily the intern

My Response: I don’t see no harm in it. I can’tsee how much more harm Burris can do than anybody else. I don’t see how what Blagojevich did was wrong. He was just talking shit. I talk shit. Muthafuckers were just recording. Pussy ass rat snitch muthafuckers. I think that if the governer appointed Burris before he was impeached, he should be let into the Senate. They ain’t impeached him yet. Blagojevich hasn’t been charged with a crime yet, right? They haven’t arrested him or indicted him, right? So what is the fuckin’ fight about? You know what I mean? He said that he’s gonna sell the Senate seat to the highest bidder? I think that whoever was trying to set him up jumped the gun. They should’ve let him sell the seat first. The man ain’t did shit but talk, right? What are you gonna charge him with, conspiracy?

*Editors note: Ask Uncle Face is an advice blog appearing periodically on ozonemag.com.
Previous Entries

 If you need advice from Uncle Face email him at scarface@ozonemag.com

This is my official blog. It’s an advice column and I’m calling it “Ask Uncle Face.” It doesn’t matter what you ask, I’m prepared to answer whatever the question is.

Question: What’s your thoughts on the Oscar Grant situation and the Oakland protest? Do you think that the election of a black president has made racial tensions in America better or worse?                                                                            -a DJ from the Bay

My Response: I didn’t really get the full details but I heard that they killed the dude while he was handcuffed. Burn that muthafuckin’ cop to the ground. Fuck them. We won’t have a black president until January 20^th, and I’m sure you’re gonna have a lot of racial hate crimes around that time. But in my opinion, I think that race relations has improved and is going to improve between blacks, whites, Hispanics, Asians, and the “others.” It wasn’t just blacks and Hispanics and “others” that got him in office. Everybody worked together to make this shit happen. Don’t for once think that it was just niggas who voted for Barack. It was just as many white people, or more, at the acceptance speech in Chicago. If you play back the tape and look at the crowd that was out there, it was just as many whites and “others” as niggas.

*Editors note: Ask Uncle Face is an advice blog appearing periodically on ozonemag.com.
Previous Entries

If you need advice from Uncle Face email him at scarface@ozonemag.com

This is my official blog. It’s an advice column and I’m calling it “Ask Uncle Face.” It doesn’t matter what you ask, I’m prepared to answer (almost) whatever the question is.

Question: Face, where did you find that girl in your “High Note” video? She’s fine as fuck! Did you really hit that, or was that just a hollywood thing? Cause it really looked like you were giving her the whop! No homo. I like to think of myself as somewhat of a ladies man, but I’ve never smashed a hoe like that. Do I I have to be famous to bag a broad like that, or is there a secret you could impart upon me?
- Kenny the executive

Answer: Wouldn’t you like to know. That’s the whole answer.

*Editors note: Ask Uncle Face is an advice blog appearing periodically on ozonemag.com.
Previous Entries

If you need advice from Uncle Face email him at scarface@ozonemag.com

This is my official blog. It’s an advice column and I’m calling it “Ask Uncle Face.” It doesn’t matter what you ask, I’m prepared to answer whatever the question is.

Question: Okay Uncle Face, I’ve been messing around with this guy for a while now, and I know he really likes me, but I can’t get him to commit to a relationship with me. What should I do?
(Jessica F., Atlanta, GA)

Answer: Shit, you got a pussy? Well, my advice to you is to use what you got to get what you want. If he don’t wanna commit to you after that, then maybe something is wrong with him. Or hell, maybe something is wrong with you.

*Editors note: Ask Uncle Face is an advice blog appearing periodically on ozonemag.com. Previous Entries

If you need advice from Uncle Face email him at scarface@ozonemag.com

This is my official blog. It’s an advice column and I’m calling it “Ask Uncle Face.” It doesn’t matter what you ask, I’m prepared to answer whatever the question is.

Question: So I got this ex-girlfriend who I’m still kinda fucking with, but I don’t trust her. I got all the passwords to her Myspace and Facebook accounts, and I’m thinking about logging in her shit to see if she’s fucking with another dude, but I know that’s some lame shit. What do you think I should do?
   -from smoothdude404@yahoo.com

My Response: For every muthafucka out there looking for something, I got the perfect example: I called a girl one time a few years ago, and her boyfriend called me back, and I told him I had the wrong number. And 5 minutes later he called me back again, and I said, “Bruh, I got the wrong number.” The third time he called me back I said, “Bruh, I told you, I got the wrong number, don’t get your feelings hurt. I-have-the- wrong-number, just leave it at that.” So the moral of the story is, if you searching for something man, you bound to find it man. If she got Myspace and muthafuckas sending her pictures of they—whatever he sending her pictures of, man, let that be what it is, because if you’re looking for something you gon’ find it. And also, 9 times out of 10 if you got a bitch that’s thumbing through your shit, she’s the muthafuckin’ culprit, you feel me. She’s the muthafucka that’s wrong. Muthafuckas that are looking for shit are guilty as sin. So you must’ve done something yourself, bruh.

*Editors note: Ask Uncle Face is an advice blog appearing periodically on ozonemag.com. Previous Entries

If you need advice from Uncle Face email him at scarface@ozonemag.com