Lil Wayne’s Three Sons Form Rap Super Group….
By Julia Beverly • Jul 16th, 2010 • Category: Uncategorized 29,047 viewsThey say children are the future. OZONE traveled 20 years ahead to bring you this exclusive look at the rap game in the year 2030, when the privileged offspring of many famous artists are embarking on their own music careers.
Words by Eric Perrin // Photo Illustrations by Julia Beverly
Lil’ Wayne’s Sons
In 2030 Lil Wayne’s three 21-year-old sons Dwayne III (with Asian Groupie – left), Lennox (with Lauren London – center), and Neal (with Nivea – right) join forces to form a Jackson 5 type band called The Carter 3. After a pretty lengthy bidding war TC3 stuns the world by shunning Cash Money to sign for less with Bad Boy, finally giving Diddy another chance to dress up impressionable boys in leather and sequins.
Diddy’s son Justin Combs
After receiving a Maybach at age 16, an F-18 fighter jet at 21, and the slutted-out shell of Cassie at 25, Justin becomes bored with the privileged life and retreats to Africa to “find himself.” After being under the radar for a number of years he returns to the spotlight with a new name and a highly successful brand of contemporary jungle music that older white Americans just can’t get enough of. Though he hasn’t spoken to his father since departing for the motherland, the artist formerly known as Justin Combs has become nothing short of an international superstar.
Christina Milian and Dream’s daughter Violet Nash
Violet can’t sing very well, but then again, neither can either of her parents. Thankfully for her, she can pen some panty droppers and star in B-list movies. Early in her career, Violet’s vintage style was compared to that of Raven Simone, as they shared the same waist size and Chicken McNugget affinity, yet she was mildly successful nonetheless. Her career finally took off when she teamed up with her half sister Navy (daughter of Dream and Nivea), lost 46 pounds and formed the super girl group “Dream’s Child” managed by Matthew Knowles.
Andre 3000 and Erykah Badu’s son Seven Benjamin
Seven doesn’t rap or sing, but is extremely gifted. Instead of traditional ways of making music, the exceptionally wise 30-something transmits melody through his mind, topping the charts with white noise and brain waves. His music videos are always number 1 on the countdown, as they consist solely of close-up shots of his face while he simultaneously hypnotizes the viewer and contemplates life’s great mysteries. He is The Most Interesting Man In The World.
Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey’s son Nick Jr.
In 2012 Nick and Mariah welcomed to the world a son, appropriately named Nick Jr. And just like his dad, Junior stars in corny Nickelodeon sitcoms that feature his raps as the opening theme music. In 2030, an 18-year-old Nick Jr. gets his heart broken by Christina and Dream’s superstar daughter when he catches her cheating on him with her 76-year-old manager.
Usher and Tameka Foster’s son Usher Raymond V
As a result of his mother’s brainwashing Usher 5 doesn’t like Usher 4 very much, nor does he want to follow in his dad’s musical footsteps. But he’s forced to take advantage of his royal R&B name by his mom, who no longer collects child support and has bad spending habits. Lil Ush’s music sounds like a combination of Tevin Campbell mixed with T-Pain minus the autotune.
Nas and Kelis’ son Knight Jones
Despite being immensely talented and having a great government name for rap, Knight never makes it in music, as all he raps about is project life and growing up poor. While this form of Hip Hop was popular from about 1992-2008, by 2030 Knight has long missed that bus. After being dropped from his label in 2021, the younger Jones ends up signing with Big Chain Records a year later, but unfortunately, rap fans and critics alike never learn to appreciate his craft.
T.I. and Tiny’s son King
King is on par lyrically with his father, but unfortunately for him, he inherits his mother’s voice and fraudulent New Orleans accent, so his rap career never really takes off. King does, however, make a very successful career for himself ghostwriting adlibs for Diddy, who by 2030 crafts catchy but poor-quality smooth jazz records and still runs his label with the same outdated logo.
Jay-Z and Beyonce’s daughter Brooklyn Carter
Although you’ve surely seen pictures of Brooklyn floating around the internet, her birth was never officially acknowledged, nor was the fact that Beyonce was even pregnant. Though Bey-Z doesn’t deny the fact they have a daughter, they choose not speak about the 19-year-old at all. In fact, the only public reference of Brooklyn’s existence was during the 2028 Grammy’s when Beyonce thanked her “husband and her daughter” in an awkward moment on stage while accepting a lifetime achievement award. Though the world has been seeing pictures of Brooklyn since a bump in Beyonce’s belly, there’s still no record of even a birth certificate. We’re not even completely sure Brooklyn is actually her name.
Swizz Beatz and Alicia Keys daughter Fancy Dean
20 year old Fancy Dean was never as artistically inclined as her mom, or as loud as her dad, so her career in music has been mostly based on her name. After securing a role as the leading lady in The Carter 3’s music video for the song “Teleport Trampz” Fancy finally decides to get on the mic herself. Though she’s still more of a celebrity socialite than musician, Miss Dean’s synthesized vocals and colorful themes are a favorite amongst tweens worldwide. By next year Fancy could very well be the biggest pop star on the planet, though two years from now she’ll probably be forgotten.
Editor’s Note: It goes without saying that this piece is a joke 
If anyone is offended, we sincerely apologize.
Julia Beverly is
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JB u outta control with this one! LOL!
Funny az heeeelllllll!!!!!! But isn’t Tiny from ATL? Not New Orleans?? (Sorry… It’s the journalist / fact finder in me!) But I love you, OZone!!!
LMAO this just made my day!!! Too funny
. I just know that the Brooklyn Carter story is the truth!
You should archive this and refer back to it in the years!
xx
Hilarious!! (^_^)
Julia, Lauren’s son name is Cameron and the asian chick name is Sarah, this is so funny!!!
lmao.
haha this is so funny especially brooklyn carter and fancy dean LOL
nick jr looks a lot like Eminem lol hmmm..
lol @ “Dream’s child managed by Matthew Knowles” haha
this article is genius
lol yall is just wrong for this!
The funniest thing about this article is there is a porn star named Brooklyn Carter…
Does Bounty Killa’s son Major Myjah become the future Warlord? or is he BFF with Beenie Man’s son Marco Dean?
If I was was Beyonce I would be scared to have Jay’s baby.
Lol she better hope it’s a boy. Smh
Lmfao at “Dreams Child” & “Fancy Dean”
This is just too too funny!!!
LMAO 2 funny!
Brooklyn Carter’s is she really real story is funny but really could happen.
Fancy Deans look 2 real, if there child looked like that in 20 years I wouldn’t be surprised.
Who ever made this is JKS
i loooove how u made nick and mariah’s kid look like eminem!lmfao mariah was creepin!
OMG! This is the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time! Kudos to you Julia!
Lmao!!!! Too freaking funny
D
Fancy DEAN ,LOlLLLL,now i bet there daughter would look like that too
Brooklyn Carter and FANCY Dean will do a song WILL DO A SONG TOGETHER,CALLED YOUR FATHER IS A HUSTLER ,MY MAMA WAS A HOMEWRECKER
That is messed up!!!!!!!!!!!
i liked that. lmao
THis is the funniest shit ever I have e-mailed all my friends to see this shit….lmmfao…GNR…..ROTFL
OMG!!!!! this is so funny, i had tears from laughing so damn hard…… poor brooklyn carter, I hope Queen B has more dominate genes….. Fancy dean ooooo nooooo! that was too funny thank you for the laugh
WRONG WRONG SO WRONG DONT KNOW WHERE TO START…ROTFLOL
@ JORDAN LEE, HE SAID “FRAUDULENT” BECAUSE TINY HAS BEEN HANGING AROUND TOYA (FROM NOLA) AND PICKED UP AN ACCENT, HE WASNT IMPLYING TINY WAS FROM NOLA, BUT IT ALL WAS FUNNY, EVEN THE UGLY ASS PICS THE ONLY ONE THAT WAS MILDLY ATTRACTIVE WAS SEVEN
Just wrong, but funny…Nick and Mariah made me LMAO!
JB u are ignant…not ignorant, but ignant