Ozone Magazine

2008 has been over for 2 weeks now, but it took us some time to gather our thoughts and reflect on all the last 12 months have brought us. Jeezy told us his president was black two months before it actually became true. Gas prices spent much of the year higher than B.G. on a three day weekend, and then dropped more than ’08 album sales for all artists not named Weezy. We heard Young Buck cry, witnessed a hockey mom run for vice president, and cringed as the stock market dropped to record lows. Rick Ross’ priceless C.O pic surfaced, Yung Berg’s chain was snatched, Michael Phelps wore more gold around his neck than Mr. T., and Brittney Spears made an unforeseeable comeback. All in all, 2008 was an odd year, leaving most more than anxious for 2009 to commence. Below we’ve compiled some of the most memorable 2008 moments, and awarded the men and women behind theses occurrences with appropriate awards.

We Didn’t Really Need a Whole Album ‘Cause One Single Was Enough Award: Ray J
“Sexy I Can” was a hit, but if an album followed, no one knew about it.

One Hit Wonder of the Year Award: 2 Pistols
Runner Up: Rocko
She still got it, but 2 Pistols doesn’t.

The Biggest Tax Write-off Award: T.I.
Runner Up: Lil Wayne
T.I. has taken a page out of 50 Cent’s rhymebook by signing every decent rapper he encountered to his label. B.o.B., Killer Mike, 8Ball & MJG, Lil Duval, not to mention Young Dro, Big Kuntry, Alfamega, Macboney, JR Get Money, Yung LA, AK, Xtaci and DJ Drama.

I Need To Focus On My Own Career Before Starting a Label Award: Yung Joc
Yung Joc’s career is on life support, the last thing he needs to do is increase his payroll, especially with acts like them Lookin’ Ass Boyz and them Stankly Leg niggas.

Top Flight Security Award: Rick Ross
We wonder if Officer Ross actually carried a weapon when he was a CO, or did he just have a flashlight?

Stoopidest Chain Award: Gucci Mane
Runner Up: Rick Ross’ face chain
We don’t know whether Gucci Mane uses his chain to floss with, steer his Hummer, or serve Thanksgiving turkey on, either way that shit’s “stoopid.”

I Won’t Be Around Next Year Award: Yung Berg
He dissed dark skin women, got bitch slapped by Maino, got his chain stolen (at least once), and we think he got beat up by Ne-Yo, (but we can’t verify that). Either way we don’ expect to see much of Yung Berg in ’09.

Cry Me a River Award: Young Buck
Real men can cook, real men can wear pink, a real man can even kiss another man (provided he can rap good enough), but we’ll be damned if we let Young Buck have a pass for crying on the phone to 50 Cent.

I Can’t Feel My Face Award: Mike Jones
Runner Up: DJ Vlad
The 3rd Annual I Can’t Feel My Face Award goes to Mike Jones for getting the smell knocked out of his nose at the 2008 Ozone Awards.

Prozac Award: Kanye West
Kanye West had a rough 2008, from dealing with his mother’s passing, to the resolution of his long term engagement, to several onstage meltdowns to getting arrested, and possibly the most morbid rap release of all-time. We hope 2009 brings a brighter today to Kanye West, but until then he needs a year’s supply of Prozac to get through his darkest days.

Take Off That Fucking Hat Award: T-Pain
Runner Up: Plies
T-Pain has taken this whole Hip Hop circus thing a bit too far. Teetering on the brink of coonery, next he’ll be wearing black-face and sambo lips. Do us a favor, and take that fucking hat off.

Jump Out The Window Award: Ron Browz
We hope Ron Browz takes his own advice and jumps out the window.

Hater of the Year Award: Ice-T
Ice-T has a bad wife, a successful career playing a cop on TV (no Rick Ross), and is considered a rap legend. LEAVE SOULJA BOY ALONE!

Down For My Bitch Award: Papoose
It’s suppose to the be the other way around, but we’re sure Remy is down for her nigga too.

Goon of the Year Award: Alfamega
We’re remised to say anything negative about Alfa, in fear of our lives (the OZONE office is less than a mile from the Grand Hustle studio), but you heard about what he did at the Dirty Awards.

The King of Zumunda Award: Plies
With a security detail greater than that of Barack Obama, Algenord is fully protected. Good luck getting within a half mile radius of Plies.

Youtube Star of the Year Award: Soulja Girl
Last year, the crazy chick from the MARTA train got more youtube hits than Soulja Boy himself.

We The Best Award: Eli Porter
Runner Up: DJ Khaled
Even though he lost the freestyle battle, he won the war. He told ya’ll he was the best.

I Am Not My Brother’s Keeper Award: K-Ci & Jo Jo
“K-Ci” While doing a show in Australia K-Ci & Jo Jo took the stage together to perform their greatest hits. During their performance both singers looked tired and dizzy (or high and drunk) and Jo passed out while singing “All My Life.” When Jo Jo passed out his brother K-Ci just looked at him and kept performing, he didn’t even bother helping him up, what happened to “Am I My Brother’s Keeper?”

Nigga, Please Award: Nas
Did you really think they were going to let you call your album Nigger, nigga?

-Compiled by Randy Roper, Eric Perrin, Ms. Rivercity, Jee’Van Brown