Plies Follows Rule 3:36
By Maurice Garland • Dec 23rd, 2008 • Category: Classic Randomness, Uncategorized 87 views
Looks like dude just said eff it at this point. Obviously Plies’ latest radio singles have gone the Ja Rule “girl song” route. But shied, it looks like he’s just gonna go ahead and borrow a few other things from Mr. Atkins…including his look and ex-hook singer.
But, we here at Ozone want to see you keep winning Mr. Bust It Baby. So in case you weren’t paying complete attention to the guy your borrowing from at the moment, we’re going to inform you of some rules you might have missed.
Rule 2:45-Don’t Get TOO Corny
Ja Rule’s video for “Mesmerize” took Ja from being stomach-able to utterly disgusting. This is straight cupcake music and that is never good unless its being done purposely for a laugh.
Rule 4:29-Avoid Beefing and Bickering
We know you’re supposed to be The REAList Goon walking and all, but you really don’t have to prove yourself anymore. So when other artists start hating on you or calling you out in the media (trust us, we know its coming) just ignore it like Biggie did. Because once you start responding you run the risk of embarrassing yourself [see above].
Rule 6:34-Fall Back On The R&B Thug Collabs
You were once quoted as saying you’ll never have any rapper cameos on your albums because you want someone who doesn’t do the same thing as you on your songs, we respect that. But at the same time, don’t get in the habit of doing too many songs with male R&B singers. You have to realize that they’re chasing the same Bust It Babies you are and they will steal the scene every chance they get. Plus, you know how a lot of those cats get down, they might be wanting a little more than just a check from you.
Rule 10:2-Don’t Flex Too Hard
Of course you won’t have no problems with this rule, hell, you’re The REAList. But still, just remember, don’t front too hard for the cameras because the truth comes out eventually. Its ok if you don’t have random star-studded cookouts at the crib. Its alright if you cook your own food. Really, it is.
Rule 2:21-Stay Away From J.Lo
Yeah, J.Lo is bad as hell, but she’s also bad for you. Get too close to her you’re destined for for club shootings, bad movies and failed relationships.
Rule 1:1-No Crying
They say real men aren’t afraid to cry. But they didn’t say that it was ok for The REAList. Shed tears if you want to Plies, but know that’s going to be the only “wet wet” you’ll be getting after that.
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